Emmet's Plan
by Kole92
Summary: Emmet has a Plan. Just because he's "dead" doesnt mean cant can't still enjoy his own Funeral, So Emmet sets out to plan his own Funeral.
1. Preface: First time for Everything

The car drive to Edward's House was surprisingly dry. This must have been the longest since I've lived in Forks that it hasn't been raining. As admired the beautiful day I felt something cold on my shoulder.

"Bella Honey, are you alright? You havent said a word since I picked you up, were you even listening to me?" Edward played with a mocking yet incredible smile.

He knew very well that I hadnt been listening, Wow, that must be a first, I couldn't believe I hadn't been listening to him I normally hang on his every word. Well I s'pose there is a first time for everything. " Uh yeah of course Edward, I totally agree." I replied, I tried to give him a crooked smile, like the one he always gives me. From his expression I knew I had failed.

He of course played on my uncertainty. "So you 'totally agree' that this is the most stupid idea you have ever heard of" He jeered.

Oh Crap. What am I agreeing to. I hate it how he picks up on things like me lieing...well i suppose anyone can pick up on me lying. I had to hush myself and concentrate, come on Bella swan you've been in much tougher situations thn this before think think. Respond but dont look likea fool. " Um yeah ofcourse...wait..what was It again" I put on my puppy dog eyes playing all innocent.

He sighed and started again. Oh My Gosh he bought it. YES way to go Me, you just outsmarted Edward Cullen. As I was doing my little 'Im so smart' dance that emmet had tought me in my head i realised he had finished. Double Crap, now im screwed. Bye Bye Glory.

"Sorry Edward, can you repeat it please?"

He smiled " Dont worry Honey, I knew you werent listening" He gave me his crooked smile. Damn it how can he do it so well. He could see my frustration. Damn him, his eyes were dancing I could tell.

"Today is Emmet's Biological 93rd Birthday and he has requested..no wait sorry DEMANDED that we throw him a party." He sighed.

I could see that to Edward it was a totally pointless idea. " Should be interesting though" He smirked.

Yes I suppose it will be interesting, a birthday party for a person who doesnt age yet is still nearly a century old...well there is a first time for everything I thought as we drove into the Cullens Driveway.

MY FIRST FANFIC I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE R&R


	2. Don't take things so seriously!

As we drove down the incredibly long drive towards the Cullen House I was thinking how I never tire of seeing it. White as snow yet even in the normal gloom that is Forks it still manages to shine with limitless beauty.

"Come on Bella, the party will be starting soon" Edward whispered in my ear. However the house had nothing against my walking diamond. He opened the car door for me. Damn these blasted trees blocking out the light. Edward dashed towards the front door and opened it for me, ofcourse he did it so quickly that I saw a a tiny sparkle before he was under the awning. This didnt put me in a good mood as I entered the house.

I could tell something was missing the moment I stepped into the Entrace Hall. Everything looked completly normal. This was werid. The party was about to start, where was Alice?

As if it was rehearsed Alice skipped into the room and smiled cheerfully at us.  
"Wow Alice you have really outdone yourself" Edward smirked. He must have been thinking the same thing.

Alice poked her tounge out at Edward and cooley responded " Im not finished yet, Thankyou Very Much! If you would care to notice the party is schelduled to start at 3pm, it is currently 2.53pm, plenty of time left." She stated Matter o' factlly. " Besides the dining room is finished and I just set up the Pinatas outside."

The shock was clearly evident on my face because Edward bagan to laugh" Your in for a surprise, You've never seen our way of Pinata" He jeered.

"Dont worry Bella" Alice chirped, " You wont be playing"

Thankgod, pinatas arent really my thing, let alone with five competitive teenage vampires trying to out do each other. The thought quickly left my mind as we left the Entrance hall to let Alice finish and entered the dining room. Holy Cake! It was huge, probably shipped from France knowing Alice, it was a Triple Choc Fudge, just looking at it made me feel as if I was gaining weight. It was neatly decorated with 93 candles in a circle around a little teddy bear, Oh Emmet will love that i'm sure.

As we entered the kitchen I noticed Esme and jAasper talking to each other, Jasper gave us a quick smile before he glided off towards Alice's direction.

"Hi Esme" I said, I always love talking to Esme we both care for this family tremendosly and she was always so kind and warm.

"Hi honey" she replied, " Wheres Carlisle?" Edward asked expectantly.

Esme grew a small smile " Oh he is upsatirs with Emmet, trying to knock some sense into him"

"Whats he done now" Edward Sighed. " Not so much done but wanted to do, Emmet was set on coming to this party the same way he came into being...you can imagine"

"Oh my" I blushed, Esme and Edward both let out a small laugh. "What an idiot!" Edward responded trying to stop himself from shaking.

"He almost had his way until I forced Carlisle up there to smack some sense into him" A small voice chirped from the doorway. "He would have ruined everything I had worked for" Alice entered the room with Jasper in toe. "Esme I have finally fiished all decorations" She chimed quite proud of herself.

"Great we can get started once those two" She pointed upsatirs. "sort everything out".

Just then a door upstairs slammed closed. "FINE!" a voice roared. "OH NO, something horrible just happened" Alice complained.

At that moment Carlisle entered the room. "That boy is crazy...oh hello Bella, Edward nice of you to join us" He exclaimed.

"Carlisle why would you do that, he takes things seriously come on!" Alice complained. Edward began to shake with laughter, oh so know he knows.

Before I could ask what the hell was going on the clock struck 3 and a loud booming voice erupted from upstairs. "PARTY GOERS, THE BIRTHDAY BOY HAS ARRIVED!!"

HEHE IM SLOWLY GETTING MORE HYPED ABOUT TBHIS IM STAYING UP TO 2 IN THE MRONING TO CONTINUE WRITING THIS...YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT EMMET HAS IN STORE!

R&R KOLE 


	3. Act your Age

Disclaimer - Alas I do not own Twilight, but when i'm rich and famous I will buy the rights to it from Stephanie Meyer

Disclaimer - Alas I do not own Twilight, but when i'm rich and famous I will buy the rights to it from Stephanie Meyer.

BPOV

We quickly moved into the hallway in front of the Grand Staircase. Edward was whispering something into Jaspers ear, damn my human hearing, I can never hear a thing. Jasper began to quake only to stop when he received a foul look from Alice. Esme and Carlisle joined us, Esme was forcing back laughter and Carlisle had a stern look on his face that was slowly but surely turning into a smile. Great! Now I was the only one that doesn't know

_Not for long_

At that moment he descended down the stairs. I wasn't sure if it was Emmet or my great uncle Ben. No definitely Emmet…dressed like my great uncle Ben.

It took almost half a second for both Edward and Jasper to be doubled over in laughter. Even a snarl from Alice didn't break their hysterics. Soon Esme and Carlisle joined them in the laughter unable to contain it anymore. Only me and Alice weren't laughing. She was mad and I had no idea what the hell was going on.

"Quit your whipper snapping you young rascals. Oh my, the youth these days. A wheezy voice exclaimed

This only caused the laughter to increase. I shuffled over to Esme and patted her on the shoulder. "Uh what is going on, what's with Emmet?" We both quickly stole glances back towards him in his bent over, feeble state.

I knew I had seen those clothes before; he was wearing one of Edwards knitted Vests, and a pair of Carlisle's golf pants and what looked like a bowtie only Jasper could pull off. He must have raided their closets.

The laughter slowly subdued and Esme realised she hadn't responded to me.

"Oh sorry love, I think Edward wants to fill you in" She pointed over my head to my Edward beckoning for me to come.

I dashed towards him but before he could get a word in Emmet began. "Well Carlisle, what do you think?" he had the largest smile on his face, kinda like the one a toddler gets when they first use a toilet properly.

We all turned our heads to Carlisle expectantly. "Well Emmet you have out done yourself, not only are you spoiling everything Alice worked and researched for but you have now stretched my favourite pair of pants" Carlisle responded, he didn't look mad just a bit worn out.

"Oh Daddy, I am truly sowwy, I just wanted to make it a fun daaaaaay!!" Emmet exclaimed in his most childish voice as he broke down and began to "sob", I couldn't help but laugh.

At this moment Rosalie stormed into the room, I wondered where she was. "Emmet! I can hear you all the way out in the garage. Act your age!"

The laughter was shocking, everyone was on the ground. Rosalie shot me a confused and outraged look, I just shrugged, I could even hear Alice laughing amongst the laughter.

Edward managed to stand up next to me and whispered in my ear "How old is Emmet?" "Ah 20, I think" I replied. "How old is he really?" and then it hit me. Act your Age, that's what Carlisle told him to do, and he did he acted like a 93 year old should.

With this I couldn't help but fall to floor laughing leaving a bewildered Rosalie standing in the centre of the room.

AN – Argh sorry it took so long to come out. I've had Exams, Writers Block and also i'm quite lazy at the best of times. I do have a couple more chapters written down in a book it's just annoying re-typing it, But i'm committed now. Poor rose you gotta feel for her in a house like that and a husband like that. Hmmm When writing in a book it seems so much longer.

R&R KOLE


	4. Lucky Rose

Disclaimer – Oh dear I would like to inform you that Twilgith is mine and and I own everything

**Disclaimer – Oh dear, I would like to inform you that Twilgith is mine and and I own everything….Id like to tell you that…unfortunately the honour resides with Stephanie Meyer.**

Half an Hour later with all laughter subdued and all clothes returned to their rightful, owners the party officially began.

According to Alice a traditional Party goes as follows.

Greetings and consuming of sweets and bicarbonated sodas. (Well that last parts out)

Party guest would than hand out gift to the birthday boy/girl who receives gratefully and opens later in private. (Not going to happen)

Traditional Party Styled Games. (Oh no!)

Dancing and Music is played for enjoyment of guest and birthday boy/girl. (When was this made? The 20's. well that ones definitely out)

Cake is revealed; birthday boy/girl makes a wish and lows out candles. Cake is then distributed amongst guests. (And what a cake).

The courteous host farewells guests.

Very, Very old fashioned these days a birthday party consists of loud music blaring, junk food, and DVD's. I also have Alice's assurance that the dancing will not be held, it didn't fit into her schedule apparently.

So with the Step 1, greetings minus the snacks done we moved onto presents. What do you give a guy that between him and his wife are rich enough to buy all Forks and probably all Olympia, easy 'Happy Day's Season 1'. To cut a short story even shorter, I once walked in on Emmet in the bathroom gelling hi hair into a quaff and say "AYE" whilst pointing his fingers at himself…basically he wanted to be The Fonz. I was sworn to secrecy of course, but that still doesn't mean I can't have some fun with it.

We all gathered in the Lounge room. Emmet was sitting at the head of the slight rectangle of Chairs, a chair only ever sat in by Carlisle, I have been told many times, That is Carlisle's Chair or DON'T SIT THERE! Do you know whose chair it is? This all of course came from Emmet who was now poking his tongue out at me. Well it was a special occasion. I waved back with my present in hand; he let out a long exasperated squeal, like a cheerleader when she finds the Chihuahua she has wants.

The First present was a combined one from Jasper and Edward. "Awesome, Thanks Guys" Emmet boomed. "It's a 500 gift voucher to the Newton's Sporting Good Store, I can buy some new baseball bats" After he broke the last ones "And screw with Mike all at once, aww so thoughtful"

A deep bashful feeling washed over me. I looked suspiciously over towards Jasper who was fiddling with one of his shirt's buttons.

Next up was Esme, who had half grown half bought 100 Roses; there was an assortment of Yellows, Reds and Whites. "It's not everyday my son turns 93" She said in the warmest voice. Emmet stood up and kissed her softly on the cheeks. "Thanks mum" He said and smiled, they both sat down. "OK who's next?" Emmet Laughed.

A tiny hand went flying into the air "OH me Me ME!" Alice chirped. She skipped up toward Emmet and carefully placed a small package. I knew what it was without him opening it. It's like at Christmas, there is always the mystery present its soft, small and floppy. You think it's a teddy bear only to discover CLOTHES. She has given Emmet clothes…should have seen that coming. He viciously tore at the paper to reveal an earth coloured knitted scarf, properly 2 times the height of Emmet. It was gorgeous though.

"Jeez Alice your starting to take the knitting to the extremes aren't you?" Jasper blurted out before he could stop himself. Oh no, he had no chance. "Well JAS-PER!" she pronounced the syllables separately "For you I have decided to make you your very own one piece suit, made from the finest wool, the kind that buttons p the front and you will wear it!" She sneered.

_Depression_

"Stop it Jasper, just because your miserably don't make us it's a party!" Edward proclaimed. Silence. "Thank you Alice I do love it, but I think ill love Jasper's One Piece more" He jested.

"My turn" I said. I handed Emmet my small package wrapped in green paper with a little bow and ribbon that you twirl with scissors. "Oooh my, what is this…could it be a BOOK! Hmmm no to small…maybe a D-V-D!" Idiot "Just open it" Emmet smiled as he tore at the paper. He stared cynically at the DVD. He mouthed to me 'Touché'. He revealed his new DVD to his family. Stunned and confused faces followed.

Carlisle and Rosalie were up next, they like Edward and Jasper had done the whole joint present thing. "Here you go Emmet" Rosalie said whilst kissing him on the cheek "From me and Carlisle" It was a small, thin, rectangle sheet of paper but I could see an image on the other side so it must be a photograph. "Um thanks guys? You bought me my own Jeep." He turned the picture around to reveal just that, his very own Jeep parked in the exact spot it's in now outside. But something was different about it. I saw it. "Whoa looks at the wheels!" I exclaimed. Everyone stared at me in surprise, then back to the picture, the jeep had a new set of custom Mags on it, they were golden Dollar signs, very fancy…for Emmet. "Nice eye Bella" Carlisle complimented. I started to blush as I did my little dance.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE THEM!!" Emmet yells before he dashes out the door.

Childish squeals erupt from the garage. "You're so lucky to have such a mature husband Rose" Jasper remarked, "Here" He threw her a blood red rose "A Rose for Rose" Rosalie sighed as she trudged out toward the garage to find her little boy and his big toys. Lucky Rose.

**AN- Longest Chapter I have written so far, eve though it's not that long. Sorry for any spelling mistakes or overuse of commas but it is currently 12.08am here and I am dead tired. But again committed. Next chapters a fun one, was fun to write and I hope its fun to read.**

R&R KOLE


	5. Party Games

Disclaimer – Just a heads up, obviously I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does

**Disclaimer – Just a heads up, obviously I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does. But don't worry I am working on an elaborate scheme. Mainly I play her in poker she bets Twilight I win :D**

BPOV

Once all the quiet chattering, to silent for me to hear. Alice stood up and proclaimed "Party Guests, it is now 4pm, time foe some games!" Cheers erupted from Emmet and moans erupted from me.

We played some traditional party games like pin the tail on the donkey which was quite amusing since everyone but me could see perfectly well through thin cloth leaving 7 perfectly aligned tails directly where they were supposed to go and one sticking on the ear.

We played Musical Chairs which ended in a pile up of Carlisle, Jasper and Edward and to broken chairs. Thank god I got out first. We also played celebrity heads to which everyone picked a not so well known actor from their time, which didn't help. Thankfully Carlisle kept it updated and gave me someone I knew and got fairly quickly.

Then came my favourite game, I had loved it since I was little because you normally win something. Pass-the-Parcel. I also love the hot potato feeling of the game trying to get rid of it quickly.

"Ok everyone come and sit in a circle" Alice Chirped, I sat closet to the door and left a nice Edward sized space next to me only to have large, bulking Emmet sit there. I looked l my right to meet the impenetrable gaze of Carlisle. "Where's Edward going to sit?" More importantly where was Edward; I scanned the room but didn't see him anywhere. My panic started to rise, where did he go. I heard a noise in the hallway as I looked I could see he elegantly picked up his piano and move it into the living room.

"Edward will be our source of music for this game" Esme said reassuringly. Oh thank god he's here, but why do I fell so anxious, I felt as if I was going to roll into a ball and cry. I heard a snicker and looked up to see Jasper smiling. I snarled at him which made him laugh harder only to receive a smacked on the back of his head from Alice for not paying attention.

"Ok here we are!" Alice bent behind her to and picked up a monster of a thing. It was a parcel with about 100 layers covering it. "Ah, Alice how long do you think this is going to take?" I asked "Not long! As I was saying…" Alice continued, I looked over to Edward smiled and waved. He mouthed back at me 'I love you'. I smiled.

I looked around the circle directly opposite me was Alice to her right was Jasper, than Rosalie, Then Emmet, little old me, Carlisle and then finally Esme. Why was I sitting in between the two most intimidating people in history, why didn't I sit in between small Alice and kind Esme? I was about to ASK Esme if I could squeeze in between her and Alice when the music started…

It wasn't what I expected, I'm used to Edward playing smooth and soft classical pieces, and this was more worthy of an 1800's Texan Saloon. Toe-Taparific.

In hind sight I probably should have been listening to Alice's Game rules, not to fast, not to hard. If I had heard this it might have warned me on my imminent danger, but I didn't so I will have to wait for it to come.

_Right now. BANG!_

Something hit me on the shoulder, HARD. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Oooooh that really hurts. "What the Ffff..." "BELLA!!" The music sopped immediately and Edward was by my side. "Are you ok?" He asked "What the bloody hell happened?" I replied in a confused and dazed voice, "What hit me?"…..Silence…"Uh well, it was the Parcel" He pointed down to the mammoth sized parcel with a very obvious Bella sized shoulder bump on the side of it. It shouldn't have hurt that much, unless?!

"Jeez Emmet! Did you have to throw t so hard?" Esme exclaimed while putting her face into her palm. "Sorry I'm not used to playing with a human; I thought she would receive better than that!" He explained with a small smile slowly creeping across his face. "Well obviously she cant, so NEXT TIME!" "Edward, i'm fine really, just everyone a bit slower please" I begged.

I picked up the parcel and waited for the music to begin. Nothing. "Now what" I was feeling as if I had ruined the game. "Well technically, the music stopped on you, you get to open it" Alice squeaked.

Awesome. I began to tear away at the newspaper. I took nearly 4 sheets or paper until I found a small black box. I opened it to reveal a pen. Not just a normal pen you get from the shops, this was a proper one with what looked like real gold! It had a golden twist top head and a silver neck, the ink was blue and oddly enough it had 'Bella' engraved on the head. Ok now I was a little freaked out.

"Ah Alice, I do love the pen but how did you know to engrave my name, How did you know I was going to win?"

7 yes stared at me with dumbfounded looks on their faces, as if I had just asked what colour the grass is.

"Ooops never mind, I got it" Emmet burst out in laughter and started rolling around on the floor, of course hes laughing, he is aways laughing. This mad me blush, causing him to laugh more, causing me to blush more, I could feel the heat on my face rising. I noticed some fists clenching in their laps, Ok calm down Bella, I slowly regained control over my 'blushingness' even in my own head I don't make sense, that's good to know.

The game got back on track; however the direction had changed so I now received the parcel from Carlisle. I would receive it every 3 seconds, then it took me 5 seconds to receive and pass off to Emmet then back it came again.

By the time there was only oe layer left everyone had at least one thing, all of them personalized in one way or another. Carlsile slowy and carfully handed me the parcel to avoid a paper cut. I threw the parcel t Emmet and the moment it left my fingers the music stopped, Damn it, just my luck.

He un-wrapped the parcel to reveal a brown suede and leather box, he opened it slowly for affect with humming a gradually getting louder note. The top flew open revealing the most exquisite watch I had ever seen "Nice an Omega, they are rare these days" Jasper said as he rose to get a better look. "It's engraved!" Alice exploded unable to hold it in anymore. Emmet turned the watch over in his hands to reveal the gold-plated back with the words 'Happy Birthday Emmet' then below it in roman numerals was 'XCIII' for the number 93.

Before Emmet ad a chance to say anything le alone put it on Alice screamed "PIÑATA TIME!"

This should be interesting.

**AN – Whoa I want to play pass-he-parcel with the Cullen's knowing the prizes they give out, this was the longest written one I had but its probably the shortest typed up :C I shall try to add more in the Piñata Chapter. Hope you liked it **

R&R KOLE


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